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Tuesday, May 1, 2012

More Fun with Mom and Pop

Mom and Pop and the Mouse
Mom (in kitchen, finding mouse in trap) to mouse: I’m sorry. We wouldn’t have tried to kill you if you’d stayed outside.
Pop, appearing from bedroom door: I have to pee.
Mom: There’s a mouse in the trap. Shall we throw out the trap?
Pop: I’ll get it.
Mom hands Pop a paper towel to use to pick up the trap. He throws it in the garbage and removes the bag from the can, taking it out to the porch. He comes back in and looks at the clock.
Pop: It’s really early!
Mom: No, it isn’t.
Pop: It’s seven-thirty!
Mom: That isn’t really early. Five-thirty is really early.
Pop (sarcastically): One o’clock in the morning is really early.
Mom (stubbornly): No, that’s the middle of the night.
Pop: You’re crazy.
Mom pours herself a cup of coffee, and Pop goes back to bed.

 Mom and Pop Look for Their Glasses

Pop: I can’t find my glasses.

Mom: Did you leave them in the bathroom?

Pop: No, they aren’t there. Do you see them on the table?

Mom: Here they are, on the kitchen counter.

Short silence. Then—

Mom: Where are my glasses?

Mom Does Yard Maintenance

Mom, shutting off riding mower: There! The big part’s all done!

Pop: You did a good job. How was it?

Mom: Not bad. But this front part, around the trees and gardens, I’ll have to do with the electric mower. Is there enough gas for that mower, too?

Pop (astonished): Are you crazy? You don’t need gas for the electric mower! It runs on electricity!

Mom and Pop stare at each other for a moment in silence, then both burst into laughter. Mom’s laughter is a bit hysterical.